Christmas is almost upon us and as festive jokes go, this one really is a cracker. Type the words "David" and "Sheepshanks" into Google and see what comes out top. And if you cant be arsed, I'll tell you. Planning for success!
I'm writing this on Monday 17th December 2007 - a day that may well come back to haunt us sooner rather than later - with the bleak assumption that the Marcus Evans Group takeover is rubber-stamped today. Even though the terms spelt out in letters to shareholders make it an absolute disgrace in my humble opinion. The cold reality of this fire sale has been obscured by some misleading statements about money. The fact remains that shareholders have been shafted and the debt remains in its entirety - and a distinctly dubious deal is presented as a fait accompli
Why? The cut-price debt purchase by an invisible man fronted by some people nobody knows for an off-shore company with no discernible assets is to my mind profoundly worrying. If we dissect away the spin and misleading puff - Town are not a lot better off than before. They still owe £32 million - and they're still losing money hand over fist each year under reckless management.
If there was one plus-point about this takeover, it would surely have been the exit stage left of our useless chairman. But no - not a bit of it. It came as something of a shock to see that he managed to come out of the takeover debacle, if not exactly smelling of roses, probably more secure than before the event. How did he do it?
Most Town fans can't abide Sheepshanks and are heartily fed up with his mealy-mouthed platitudes and relentless self-publicity. But you can't fault him for stickabilty. Indeed, the Shepshanks family motto is "Perserverando", This might sound like something Harry Potter shout whilst waving a magic wand - but I gather it is Latinesque for extolling the benefits of perseverance. You know the sort of thing, talent is nothing without perseverance. Quite a handy motto to believe in if you have no talent.
So why is the current management being kept in place? I think I know the answer. The Marcus Evans Group want David Sheepshanks a lot more than they want Ipswich Town Football Club. You and I may see David Sheepshanks as a self-obsessed liability. But we'd be wrong. David Sheepshanks has shamelessly used Ipswich Town as a vehicle for self-promotion, weaseling his way on to sundry FA committees, relentlessly speaking out at all manner of conferences and committees on subjects he seems peculiarly ill-quipped to comment on. In an era when English football is worth billions and the FA is nominally in charge of it - Sheepshanks can help oil the workings of power on a global basis for a multinational entertainment group seeking more than their share of corporate hospitality junkets.
Sheepshanks is still around because through him, the Marcus Evans Group has a conduit straight into the FA hierarchy and a sphere of influence which stretches way beyond the Premier League, potentially to the World Cup Final itself. You think not? Who was one of the wise men on the FA international committee rubber-stamping the employment of a non-English speaking Italian with no experience of international football nor English football to run the England International team? David Sheepshanks of course. The same David Sheepshanks who jetted off to South Africa for the World Cup draw, then lectured on important footballing matters to an international audience that probably assumed he knew what he was talking about.
The FA have the millstone of Wembley firmly round their necks - and the Marcus Evans Group can smell opportunity. The FA also dream of hosting the World Cup - and the ceaseless junketing behind that lofty dream has already started - with Sheepshanks very much to the fore. An £8million punt on some handy debt can soon seem pretty small beer on those terms.
If Carlsberg made club chairmen - they'd probably make David Sheepshanks 92nd on their list... but our incredible Teflon-coated chairman looks like being given free reign under the new ownership to pursue his FA ambitions - with more than a little help from his new friends.
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